Lighten Up, It's Just Bloggin'

I also forgot to mention that the other main reason I'm Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? is because over the past year I became OBSESSED with some reality tv. It's sad really. Didn't miss a single episode of that Project Runway all winter. Who am I kiddding, I watched them all, then all the re runs, and of course the reunion, which are always the BEST! I'm only going on about this b/c it was probably my favorite show to watch this year (I haven't seen a single new episoide of Soprano's, so we can't even go there....). Aw, I'm starting to miss my little blog now. Daniel Franco, where did you? We'll see ya in Season 3!

God, I bet you have no clue what I'm jabbering about. PR's been over since, what, February? I still love to dream though.... What happened to ANDRE? I love it.

Little Ghost Little Ghost

I know right? The first update in about a year. Sorry, no internet at this chick-a-dee's house. I'm just mooching off a pal's laptop at the moment anyway. Hopefully, I can get back to some regular posting, because you know I've had a long-ass time to come up with tons of material. Por ejemplo: Brokeback Mountain. Neversaw the movie, not even going to comment on the film itself except to say that is was a South Park joke first. We're talking when Sundance Film Festival came to South Park. Anybody remember? I have a whole conspiracy theory about it, but that's for another time. Until then, for any questions or comments I'm goldandsilvershine@yahoo.com

I love you all. I hope someone reads this.

Bear with me....

... as I try to get this blog under control. I'm attempting some revamping and not doing such a great job.

Game Over, for real

This 28-year-old man in South Korea dropped dead after 50 hours of computer games. That game must have been so awesome.

Shotgun!

I'm so glad someone finally settled the shotgun rules for hired prostitutes.

A One Hit Wonder

Remember that guy who sang that song "Walking in Memphis"? Apparently, Marc Cohn was shot in the head on Sunday, and survived! My favorite part of this article is when the police forced the shooter out of a vacant house with tear gas, and then fired a "nonlethal rubber ball" at him. This is a stand-off, not dodgeball, silly.

Haunted

I just finished the bizarre Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk, more renonwed for his more popular fiction, Fight Club. Haunted's frame story consists of a group of characters locked away in an old abandoned theater for three months. They had all answered the same ad in the newspaper. A writers' retreat. Create your masterpiece. The beauty queen, the reporter, the assassin, the diseased, the clairvoyant, the pervert, the vandal, and the others I can't remember at the moment, they all have their own stories to tell. Completely original, hilarious, tear-jerking, stomach-churning flashbacks from each of their lives. These flashbacks eventually reveal the one common reason each has volunteered to be quarantined for three whole months, and also their one common goal while trapped inside (which is not to create their masterpiece). A most recommended read.

Next on the agenda: (gosh, this is long overdue) Wigfield by Amy Sedaris, Paul Dinello, and Stephen Colbert, three of the four creators of my all time favorite television series, Strangers with Candy. Which reminds me, they made a Strangers with Candy movie which premired at the 2005 Sundance Film Festival. Can't wait for the rental. Should be Gross-out City!

Bad English. Bad Attitude.

I've often wondered why Jackie Chan and Arnold Schwarzenegger have never made a movie together. Doesn't that just seem like the quintessential action duo? And nobody would understand a word between the two of them. Brilliant.

Here's the last 5 seconds of the movie trailer (Insert overly-exaggerated Austrian-muscle head voice for Arnold and cliche Asian accent for Jackie):

Explosions in the background, Arnold and Jackie look back to the incinerated villains and say,

Arnold: Ahhh, See you later alligator!
Jackie: Aftah while crocodile.

I still haven't thought of a good, catchy movie title. Any suggestions?

Go ahead and send me my billions.

Ok, so here is my pitch for what will soon be the hottest game that all the kidz are krazy for!

Remember the old school Nintendo game, Duck Hunt? Of course you do, everyone is cuckoo for Duck Hunt. My game combines the light-hearted comedy of Tyrone Biggums and the classic Duck Hunt game.

So, at the beginning of the game, Tyrone gulps down one of his favorite energy drinks, Red Balls. In case you are not familiar with Red Balls, the key ingredient is crack cocaine.

Like its similar counterpart, Red Bull, Red Balls "gives you wings". The wings make the crackhead fly, and then you, kiddo, your job is to shoot the crackhead, just like one of those pesky ducks.

Man, I'm a badass at MS Paint.

You get the idea, right? You love to shoot crackheads. You want this game. Give me your money.

Oh, and by the way, the new season of Reno 911 is mighty P.I.M.P. (pee in my pants) worthy. Go watch it now.

Darkness is Spreading

Here's an interview with Charlie Murphy about the end of short-lived Chappelle's Show.

Months ago I had heard the stories about Dave's retreat to South Africa just before the third season of Chappelle was to debut. Since then, Comedy Central has pretty much told the public, "We don't know where the fuck that n*gga is. Here, watch Stella."

So, you think it's really over? Let me tell you somethin' Joe Rogan....

Oh, and I have the best idea ever for a Chappelle video game. I'm going to attempt to create some sort of model of it, to give you an idea, on MS Paint. Should be cracktastic.

"Check out this fiiiiiiiine bedonkadonk"

Call me feminist, or whatever, but I LOVE this.